The Soundtrack of My Life: A Look Into My Running Soul

I have a confession to make. This entry was yet another really hard one to write. I’m finding that the more meaningful it is to me, and the more I need to express the importance, the more difficult it is to explain. The harder it is for me to sculpt a cohesive story to understand. 

At first, I wanted to go into a really reflective piece about the meaning of music, the significance of each lyric and song. But that would be a series and not just one post.

I wanted to start off with some trivia, maybe the fact that the olfactory sense is the strongest one tied to memory. That this was something my grade 6 teacher (who ironically, I thought was a weirdo for running marathons) told my class and it has stuck with me ever since. 

But what does smell have to do with running? In my experience, it’s almost meaningless. So that wouldn’t segue well into a music article.

Instead I’ll just start writing.

When I run,  the strongest most meaningful sense is auditory in nature. 

Sounds. Music. Listening. 

Rhythm has an almost primal impact on me far more than can be described in words. Beat, harmony, melody resonates deep into my running soul. 

I’ve always run with music; I’ve never been the type that runs without. There is only so long I can listen to the cadence of my step or the rhythm of my breath before my mind starts to wander and I start focusing only on when the run will be completed. For those who can run and be present in the moment, I commend you. It is not an easy feat to run, especially long distances, and to sit with your thoughts and with nature. To be present and focused. 

For me, there is only so much I can manage. I get anxious and nervous and panicked thinking about whatever gargantuan goal is ahead of me. Without music I focus on things like if I’m keeping a consistent pace, if I’m running fast enough, how far I am from home and if I’ll actually make it. I think about the rumble of the cars, having to move off the sidewalk for strollers, and the annoyance of the whistling wind of the soft swish of water inside my bottle. A meditative state is probably something I need to work on.

But that’s what listening to music while running does for me. 

While there will be those who contest this, music helps me focus and enjoy the run. I very rarely run without music and it’s usually not a voluntary choice when it happens.  

Music while running is important to me but how do I share a 3 hour playlist, distilled into 10 or 15 songs?

How do I explain the songs I run with aren’t provocative or soulful but are just as important? The ones that evoke a sentiment of triumph, of motivation, of perseverance, or are just plain fun and get me pumped full of energy to move?

How do I describe a decade or so worth of running music that spans over three decades in one post? And to do so without feeling intimately embarrassed about some questionable choices of music? How do I share something so mundane and yet so intimate with strangers?

I guess I just do. I share because they are meaningful to me and that they paint a picture of who I am in my running identity. 

They show the threads of sound that were sewn together when I first started running. When I ran mainly to distract myself, to push past pain and self-doubt. They weave a tapestry of when I felt strong and mighty and crushed a distance or an elevation that I didn’t think I had the energy to do so. They evoke memories of warm sun or the company that was kept or the last few strides to cross a finish line. They are the quilt that has brought me to where I am now in my running “n”deavour.

They connect the past runner me to the now runner me and the future runner me. 

Today, I want to share about an hour’s worth of songs with you in no particular order. In the vein of getting out of my comfort zone, I’ve linked my playlist here (and a thanks to borislobb for letting me use their Spotify account).   Feel free to comment and to share yours. 

1. Levels- Avicii (2011)

This is my “power” song. Nothing deep. Nothing reflective. When I feel like quitting or slowing down and need to dig deep for more drive, this is 100% the song. I personally try to have this come up around the 5K mark but sometimes when I just play the list on shuffle, it comes up at the most serendipitous moments when I need it the most. 

2. Hypnotize- The Notorious B.I.G. (1997)

If you are a millennial (or even a Gen X), this was a big part of your adolescent/young adult identity. While I don’t listen to this one to contemplate the explicit lyrics, the flow of Biggie’s lyrical genius and poetic flow are something that put me in the zone. This one takes me back to house parties, school dances, and music videos on Muchmusic. 

3. Written in the Stars -Tinie Tempah ft. Eric Turner) (2010)

I remember when I first listened to this song, it was a way for me to distract myself from everything I deemed terrible happening in my life (oh young adult angst). It was a song to get through that knot in my stomach that rose to my throat when I started to think about life. Now, I really enjoy the clever lyrics and it often puts me in a contemplative mode about running, about privilege, about life. 

4. Close Your Eyes (And Count to Fuck)- Run the Jewels (2014)

Speaking of lyrical genius and delivery. This Song. Is. Everything. It combines my teen years of listening to Rage Against the Machine’s Zach De la Rocha’s rapid fire vocals with Run the Jewel’s infectious hip-hop style. If this song doesn’t want to make you run faster, harder, longer, come talk to me. Also, I’d recommend the music video, for such very relevant commentary. 

5. Sabotage- Beastie Boys (1993)

The Beastie Boys have been and will always be one of my favourite groups of all time. They are just fun. This song is just fun like a soundtrack to your own life. I don’t have much to say about this except you can’t go wrong with listening to it. 

6. Daft Punk Is Playing at My House- LCD Soundsystem (2005)

This song is a dedication to my love of listening to Daft Punk while I run but also a nod to my love of dancing like a flailing inflatable balloon person at a carwash. A song that harkens back to a time in my life when people went “clubbing”. When it was fun to hang out with friends and dance. When you could stay up until 3AM and somehow wake up at 6AM to go to work and function fairly normally. 

7. Burn- Ellie Goulding (2013)

I love this song because 1) Ellie Goulding herself runs and 2) who doesn’t love a powerful song with female vocals. Other Ellie Goulding songs evoke emotion and remind me of sadder times, darker times, and rising out of them too. This one holds a special place in my heart. 

8. Hula Hoop – Omi (2015)

The opening of this song gets me every time. While the lyrics themselves I don’t pay much attention to or care for, the first few seconds and the horn section reminds me of one time of the few times I experienced a runner’s high. I was running down the hill on Mt. Pleasant in Toronto between Moore and Bloor St on a cool and sunny and green spring morning and everything just aligned — my breath, my energy, my pace, my body. This song always takes me back there. 

9. Immigrant Song – Led Zeppelin (1970)

I love starting my run with this song. It’s slower so I don’t start my pace too fast especially on race days. And it’s a great breather to the electronic, pop, and dance music that often fills my playlist. A classic. 

10. Sweet Disposition – The Temper Trap (2008)

Another song that I just get lost in. Another soundtrack of my life kind of song where I just envision myself putting one foot in front of another while the sun shines on the pavement. It also makes a great road trip song too. 

11.  Never Come Down – Brave Shores (2014) 

In the vein of more Indie Pop, its another just get moving kind of song. But I love the lyric “Running with the Crazy Crowd. I’m climbing, going higher”. I’m pretty sure, as the music video implies, it’s probably just about a guy happy that he has hair again and reclaiming the moments of his youth (and trying to escape reality). Fitting for a run theme song. 

12. Sexy Bitch – David Guetta ft. Akon (2009)

There’s a lot of David Guetta/Calvin Harris that I listen to when running. It’s mindless and catchy. And while I’m sort of at odds with the lyrics of this one, I’ve listened to it so often I only picture myself going for a run when it comes on. This is another one of those songs that helps me get up those decision questioning hills. 

13. Galvanize – The Chemical Brothers (2005)

Another group I love. Good beat. Good Lyrics. Don’t hold back! ‘Cuz you woke up int he morning with initiative to move!

14. Runnin’ – Doman and Gooding ft. Dru & Lincoln (2009)

I’m pretty sure they are a one hit wonder that sampled Armand Van Helden’s You Don’t Know Me into a much more consistent beat. It’s a little embarrassing. I don’t know what this duo is doing anymore but I’m glad I have a 7 minute long song that keeps a consistent beat and lets me mindlessly relegate it to the background when I run.

15. Get Low – Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz (2003)

Would I be a millennial if I didn’t listen to this? Pure nostalgia. Pure Embarassment. There’s nothing redeeming about this song. I don’t regret listening to it.

You’ll notice there aren’t very many recent songs in my favorites. While I do add new music, favorites are born out of nostalgia. Songs are personal and often a glimpse into who you are, like an extension of your soul.

My piece of unsolicited advice with this post: Bare your soul. Listen to the music in your life and focus on where it takes you. It could be to another time or another place. Or it could be right here and right now, like the way the whistling wind and rhythm of your breath focuses runners with no headphones. 

And remember, you are awesome, you are amazing and for those who need to hear it, you are doing a great job. 

-N